It’s stating the obvious to say that Syria is truly a mess. The Russians are helping the Syrians, as are the Iranians. The US is helping the Kurds and ‘moderate’ terrorist grouping such as Al-Nusra. Israel are also helping the same terrorist organisations in an attempt to topple Assad.

The Kurds are under attack from the Turks. The Turks shot down a Russian jet, but now appear to be back on good terms with Russia. Russia and Israel are unsure of one another. The US hate Russia and Russia don’t much like the US.

The Europeans are backing the US, and NATO is provoking Russia in the east. Tensions are rising between the Europeans and Israel. Trump is mental and appears to want to shag his daughter. The Chinese are scratching their heads and wondering what the fuck is going on. Iran hates the US and the US wants to blow the shit out of Iran. Iran has lots of oil. Iraq had lots of oil before the US blew the shit out of it.

Kim Jong Un is scratching his balls and wondering what the fuck is going on. Everyone hates ISIS. Saudi Arabia don’t hate ISIS. Saudi Arabia are arming ISIS and blowing the shit out of Yemen. Iran likes Yemen. No one knows who the fuck Pakistan likes. Pakistan hates India and India loathes Pakistan. India and Pakistan have nuclear weapons. Israel has nuclear weapons but no one is supposed to know about them or say anything. Everyone in North Korea is scratching their balls and wondering what the fuck is going on.

The US and the Europeans are arming Saudi Arabia whilst hating ISIS who are receiving US and European weapons. ISIS hates everyone. ISIS doesn’t seem to hate Israel as it hasn’t attacked it. ISIS accidentally fired a missile into Israel and immediately apologized to them. ISIS attacks Europe whenever it seems to suit Israel. Hmmm…

The US and Turkey have fallen out. Turkey blames the US for an attempted coup. Turkey is a member of NATO. Turkey attacks ISIS. Turkey received stolen oil from ISIS. Syria hates Turkey and Turkey hates Syria. Everyone hates ISIS (except Israel). Saudi Arabia and Israel really like each other. Saudi Arabia arms ISIS.

Qatar hates Israel and Syria. Saudi Arabia hates Qatar. The United Arab Emirates hate Qatar. Kuwait hates Israel. Qatar loves Al Jazeerra. The US hates Al Jazeera. The US dropped a missile on Al Jazeera some years ago, then apologized. Israel hates Al Jazeera and Qatar so now everyone else hates Al Jazeera and Qatar. Sputnik is wondering what the fuck is going on. The BBC doesn’t care.

Iraq is scratching Iran’s balls and wondering what the fuck is going on. Theresa May is scratching her balls and hoping no one will notice. Priti Patel wishes she had some more Israeli balls to scratch. Donald Trump has no balls. Sisi is licking Netanyahu’s balls. Netanyahu is kissing his wife’s big sow-balls. Naftali Bennett is searching for his Californian balls at the Al Aqsa Mosque.

Syrian’s balls are being squashed. Turkey’s balls are all over the place. Kurdish balls are strained. ISIS don’t have balls because the Koran says they shouldn’t. ISIS all have unkempt vaginas. Israel’s balls are tiny and infertile so they must import lots more strangers into the region. Palestinians have big healthy balls. Russia has massive balls that are causing an obstruction to the US who keep tripping over them. The US has managed to make a balls of it all.

Everyone’s balls are going to be toast.

Syria is a mess.

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