Spiderman, Spiderman, does whatever a spider can… so he hides in your shoe and scares the crap out of you when you try to put it on; he drops onto your head in your bedroom and makes you flap like a nutcase as you trip over the rug and bust your nose; he eats flies; he bites you and the wound becomes infected and your arm falls off. Spiderman‘s a wanker.
Anyway, here is a more realistic take on the masked webslinger as he tackles the crime of the Big Apple (or should that be the crime in the Big Apple…?). Bet he’s really a perv who climbs up walls to peek into bedrooms belonging to beautiful women. Bet his spraying of webs is really a sexual act. Bet he’s naked under that skimpy suit with tattoos of upside-down women on his chest. Rebel Voice is going to stop now. But Spiderman‘s still a tit. Enjoy.
