You’re Anti-Semitic If…

As Zionism is an ideology based upon the concept of hiding the truth from the world, whilst simultaneously spreading lies and deceiving the people, Rebel Voice has decided to confront just one of the nasty tactics employed by Israel and supporters of the rogue Zionist state.

Today, when a person steps forward to condemn the actions of Israel, or to question the legitimacy of that political gerrymander, they are assaulted by charges of being ‘anti-Semitic’. Pro-Palestinians, in particular, come under attack for their opposition to Israel. Those who defend the people of Palestine are regularly labelled anti-Semites. This is a ridiculous charge given the fact that most Palestinians are Semites. It can be seen that it is impossible to be anti-Semitic if you’re supporting the human rights of a Semitic people.

Yet such tactics are used liberally by Zionists. Such is the extent of these accusations that the term ‘anti-Semitic’ is being demeaned and its importance corroded. The potential future backlash from this insidious approach from Israel and its grubby backers will affect all Jews, regardless of their innocence. Zionists are to blame for creating any such danger of lamentable future widespread anti-Judaism.

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Therefore, in this article, Rebel Voice has decided to take a wry look at all the things that the idiots of Zionism have decided will categorize a person, or people, as ‘anti-Semitic‘. We wonder, how many of these will apply to you?

  • You’re anti-Semitic if you support BDS
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Ayelet Shaked lays leathery eggs
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you support human rights for the people of Palestine
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you do not find Sara Netanyahu sexy… or human
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you own a Keffiyeh
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you wonder just what the hell Catherine Zeta Jones sees in that weirdo, Michael Douglas
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Seth Rogen is a shit actor
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you’re a conscientious Jew
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you respect ‘self-hating’ Jews
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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Kirk Douglas has crazy eyes to match his crazy mind
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you look at the size of Kelsey Grammar’s head and wonder why nature put his brains in his ass
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel the US should stop subsidizing Israel and should instead feed its own people.
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that John Mann should be sectioned
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you oppose the murder of Palestinian children

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you oppose Israeli colonialism
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that J.K Rowling should butt out
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you refuse to eat kokosh because you are watching your waistline
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you have seen John Voight’s videos in support of Israel and you feel that it would be amusing if a giant ten tonne bible fell on him during one of his religious rants
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Thom Yorke is a complete c**t
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you want to end the siege of Gaza

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you say that Netanyahu is a lot like Hitler
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you use the name Jaffa instead of Tel Aviv
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Adam Sandler is an over-rated tit
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are both Israeli and a conscientious objector
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Hollywood is corrupted and controlled by Zionism
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that the IOF objectify Israeli women in their ranks by sexualizing them in their propaganda

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you view the IOF as a bunch of cowardly half-wits who make war on children
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Howard Stern makes a Black Mamba seem like pleasant company
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you state that anti-Zionist Jews are amongst the most courageous people on the planet
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that Mossad were assembled from discarded foreskins
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are extremely disappointed in James Caan
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Israeli massacres of the people of Gaza are war crimes

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe Scarlett Johansson to be a self-centered ego-maniac
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Ken Livingstone is a great fella altogether
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you do not eat Gefilte fish
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that Denis MacShane is a corrupt clown
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you understand that the Rothchilds were indeed involved in the creation of the immoral state of Israel
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you can see how the silence of the western media assists the rogue state of Israel in perpetrating further war crimes

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you quite like Norman Finkelstein
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you quite like Jackie Walker
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you thought that Shimon Peres was from Argentina, instead of Poland where he’s really from
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that the adults on Masada were a crazy bunch of hoors because they killed their children, and should not be lionized
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you want to see a more independent world press that will report the truth about Israel and its crimes

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you have never watched Fiddler On The Roof
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are opposed to the occupation of any part of Palestine by Israel
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you have a foreskin
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you would rather swim naked in a tub full of electric eels, and those little fish that swim up your penis or fanny, than go on a date with Minnie Driver
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that the Holocaust is not an excuse for Israelis to behave like Nazis

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you find Bob Dylan’s Nobel Prize to be questionable even though you quite like his music
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you would try kugel but can’t find anywhere local that sells it
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you say that Jews have a good sense of humour
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you find Sarah Silverman to be so not funny that she makes you want to boke
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you have not read and memorized the entire Talmud
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that successive US governments, with certain other western and Arab authorities, are complicit in the slaughter of Palestinian civilians

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are sickened by the complicity of the Western media in remaining silent about the horrific treatment of the people of Palestine by the rogue state of Israel
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you would prefer to have sex with the slobbering extra-terrestrial from those Aliens movies, starring Sigourney Weaver, rather than have coitus with Jenna Jameson
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you look at Bill Maher and think his head resembles a punched-stupid lump of Plasticine from Satan’s playroom
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are disgusted by the behaviour of certain Islamic governments in happily sucking Israeli and US dicks

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are of the opinion that Arnold Schwarzenegger is one step below a sewer rat in terms of his morality and acting ability
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are of the opinion that Sylvester Stallone is right there alongside Arnold Schwarzenegger, holding his hand
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that Palestinians should have access to medical care
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you do not like Matsah ball soup
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that whilst Natalie Portman is physically attractive, you think that she has a false personality and probably smells bad
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you recognize Israeli propaganda when you see it, or hear it, or smell it (it’s got a strong fishy tang)

 

 

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Jon Bon Jovi was better when he had long hair and didn’t talk shite about supporting Israel
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Balfour was a complete c**t
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you never found Roseanne Barr anything other than irritating
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you like the look of kreplach but refuse to pay through the nose for the chance to eat it
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you wish that Avigdor Lieberman had stayed at home in Moldova
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are of the opinion that Israel learned a lot from the Nazis, such as how to behave like Nazis

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you wonder how the holy fuck Noah managed to get the kangaroos
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you happen to think that the first woman, Lilith, was probably pretty cool, up for a laugh, and great in bed
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are opposed to the occupation of the Golan Heights by Israel
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are opposed to Israeli imposed Apartheid
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you don’t laugh at every joke that a Jewish person tells, even when the punchline contains the words tchotchke, kvetch and mishpocheh
  • You’re anti-Semitic if  you do not hate all Muslims and do not believe that they are all the spawn of Satan
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are opposed to ethnic cleansing

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you call it the Al-Aqsa Complex and say ‘The Temple Wha?’
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you do not give a shit which religion a person has, so long as it’s benevolent
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you liken Sara Netanyahu to Miss Piggy’s really nasty criminal grandmother
  • You’re anti-Semitic if  you believe that Palestine will be free
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you do not find Gal Gadot attractive because you believe her to be ugly inside
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you’re opposed to Zionism
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you really like the colours of the Palestinian flag and think they match up really well
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Joan Rivers is currently residing in Hell with a red-hot pitchfork shoved rudely up her melting, plastic ass
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that Palestinians should have access to water

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that Palestinians should have access to electric
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you do not currently have a Menorah in your home and do not complain because IKEA do not currently stock them
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you follow Rebel Voice
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you refuse to wear a kippah even though it does not go with your new jeans and that nice top you bought on sale in Debenhams
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you hate Nazis and find the Holocaust abhorrent but don’t lose a lot of sleep over something that happened almost 80 years ago and for which you had no responsibility
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are not impressed with Wonder Woman and much prefer Godzilla, in terms of both acting ability and appearance
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you oppose any emerging alliance between neo-Nazis, the KKK and Zionists, even though you feel that they are very similar in outlook

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you find ethnic supremacism to be abhorrent
  • You’re anti-Semitic if sex scenes involving Michael Douglas put you off your food for a week
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you know about the Sabra and Shatila massacre
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that Kirk Douglas’ portrayal of Spartacus made you cheer for the Romans
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you would like to see Scarlett Johansson and Natalie Portman cast in movie roles as Palestinian refugees during the Nakba
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you accept that there was a Nakba

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Palestinian homes and land belong to Palestinians
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that the initials AIPAC stand for Assholes Initiating Pain And Corruption
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Israelis who murder civilians should go immediately to jail and stay there
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are of the opinion that the Palestinians are among the bravest and most decent people on this planet, or any other for that matter
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you really, really, really enjoy The Life Of Brian (you’re also anti-Christian and probably a touch Islamophobic)
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that Abbas should pull his finger out and stop being a Zionist toy
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that the Anti-Defamation League is first and foremost a front for pro-Israelis

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Elor Azarya looks like that weird lad from the movie, The Hills Have Eyes (1977)
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you would eat your own testicles rather than let them within an ass’s roar of Sara Netanyahu
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you seek justice
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you admire Penelope Cruz and Javier Bardem and hope that someday they kick the living shit out of Scarlett Johansson and Seth Rogen
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that the US and Israeli governments are engaged in a sequence of mutual masturbation
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe in a free press

  • You’re anti-Semitic if you have nothing to fear from the truth
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that the best part of Conan O’Brien dribbled down his mother’s leg
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you find Steve Tyler’s head offensive
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you know about Deir Yassin and al-Dawayima
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you suspect that AIPAC is a swinger’s club for the aged and infirm
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you care about the children of Palestine
  • You’re anti-Semitic if think Sara Netanyahu resembles a scary new balloon animal
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you wish David Ben Gurion had stayed at home in Poland

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you suspect that Benjamin Netanyahu has a leather fetish
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you like Pink Floyd
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that Selena Gomez is nice, inside and out
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Scarlett Johansson is inside out
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that Indiana Jones and the Ark of the Covenant is simply not feasible
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that AIPAC has all the morality of the Gremlins
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you consider Mossad to be a big girl’s blouse
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Avigdor Lieberman secretly fancies al-Sisi, the kinky Egyptian

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Israel is not kosher
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you did not buy your six year old nephew a dreidel for Christmas because he asked for a tool set instead, as he wants to go to Gaza to help the children there build homes for themselves
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think Mossad is comprised of used douche bags
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you suspect Benjamin Netanyahu wants to hump Melania Trump

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you’re a Palestinian poet
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are in favour of Roger Waters being made head of the United Nations
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that Avigdor Liebermen likely paints his toenails
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you wonder if anyone has ever actually cried at the Wailing Wall
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you respect Dublin City Council
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are a member of PÁIS
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that ‘a land without a people, for a people without a land‘ accurately describes Pluto… so…
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you give a shit about oppressive state authorities mistreating good people

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Naftali Bennett wears his mother’s underwear
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you detest weak western governments who are bullied by Israel
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Howard Stern could be used to help unblock sewers
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you believe that Israel is a state with an abnormally high percentage of sociopaths
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  • You’re anti-Semitic if the sight of murdered Palestinian children makes you both sick and angry
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you are of the opinion that adult Israeli, colonial squatters are vile creatures
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you feel that the Israeli and Saudi regimes have much in common in how they treat Palestine
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you think that Ayelet Shaked might have ringworm
  • You’re anti-Semitic if you sometimes despair of our species when you look at the conduct of Israel and the silence of the West

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  • You’re anti-Semitic if you say, ‘From the River to the Sea, Palestine WILL be free’.

– Please share widely –

 

(many thanks to Carlos Latuff for his artistic genius)