Republic Of Telly – The Irish Fans Who Can’t Come Home (Irish Satire)

Irish soccer fans; they are acknowledged around the world as the best there is, or should that be the most sycophantic there is? Rebel Voice is always getting those two mixed up. In the Euro tourney in 2016, Irish fans went round gathering up the rubbish from the streets of French cities. Rebel Voice wonders if the French government have considered inviting them all back to clean up after the Yellow Vest movement have been out in force. It would be free labour. What those selfish Irish fans never thought about was that they were taking the jobs from hard-pressed French rubbish-collectors. In fact, that was what likely sparked off the Yellow Vest movement. The anger over the Irish fans showboating for the cameras slowly built up and 3 years later, voila! Riots.

Of course, whilst the Irish fans were gathering garbage from the streets of France, the Italian fans were shagging all the beautiful French women. Way to go, Irish fans. Gypes. However, the best kept secret in Ireland, and one that Rebel Voice is now finally going to share with the world, is that prior to the start of the Euro Finals of 2016, a program was initiated on Erin’s Green Isle to identify every village idiot in the country. Once this was concluded, all of those slathering gobshites were shipped off to France to cause employment problems for continental workers. It was payback for the harsh terms of the banks bail-out after the collapse of the Paper-mache Tiger in 2008. We were laughing at you, France. Ha!

Sadly, or not so sad, depending upon your point of view, many of those village idiots never came home. Some got jobs working for free for the municipal authorities of France. They are complimented regularly to keep them happy and, once a month, they lie on their backs and a French person comes along to pat their empty heads and scratch their tummies.

The following light documentary takes a look at the reasons why some of these Irish emigres chose to stay abroad. Due to time constraints, it doesn’t make mention of the fact that, having been away from Ireland for more than 7 days, the clowns forgot where Ireland was, how to get back there and what their names are. Enjoy!

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