Any readers who come from large families, such as those found across Ireland, will know of at least one member who is crude and liable to say the wrong thing at the most inappropriate time. Usually it’s a man, but not always. Sometimes the worst culprit might be a woman, an old woman.
It’s incongruous to hear a little old lady use foul and abusive language. This reviewer is reminded of a time when I was waiting outside an estate agents, for it to open. I was sitting with a man from Donegal with a very droll sense of humour. As he was joking about nothing of importance, a bird-like woman of perhaps 70-80 years came walking down the street. She was wearing about 3 heavy coats (it was a warm summer), looked unwashed and had an old woman wispy beard, the kind that some male students wear with pride as they roll around in Bob Dylan posters. The old woman was stepping with great determination in our direction as we sat in a van.
The Donegal man stepped out, just as she was approaching, in order to go over to the estate agents. As his feet touched the pavement, he politely and not a little snidely said ‘Hello’ to the old and wizened lady. Without missing a step, she screamed ‘FUCK OFF!’ and continued on her way. I laughed a great deal more at the old woman’s response than at anything the Donegal man had to say. He wasn’t impressed.
The following clip is from the very popular Catherine Tate Show, a British sketch show that parodied many of the typical characters to be found in British society. One of the most memorable is Granny, a foul-mouthed and obnoxious old woman with no understanding of what is p.c., nor would she care if she did. There’s a certain perverse pleasure in hearing an old lady using language that would make a sailor blush. The sketch premise of a little baby being described as ugly is so inappropriate as to raise a guilty smile in anyone. Babies are beautiful, all babies are beautiful, but some have no hair and they all have no teeth. They make funny faces and strange noises and blow bubbles without gum. Look at one upside down and they appear to be aliens with no mouth and weird upside down eyes. Note: Rebel Voice is not recommending that you hold the baby upside down. Instead, walk around the pram and softly gaze down and shudder as a tiny, beautiful alien baby stares back at you and tries to read your frantic mind.
Rebel Voice 