“I need a hero. I’m holding out for a hero ’til the end of the night.” This famous plea from Bonnie Tyler resonated throughout the female population as muscle-bound good guys proliferated across our screens in the nineteen-eighties. Back then, the women-folk seemed to want their men strong, hairy, with a body of steel and a heart of gold (they weren’t realistic in their expectations, it must be said). Then change came.

The traditional male powerhouse was gradually replaced by a prissy, soft-handed metro-sexual; a ‘male’ who spends longer in front of the mirror than his female companion; a ‘man’ who isn’t afraid to paint his toenails and talk about his ‘feelings’, a ‘bloke’ who talks about wine and sneers at those who drink beer; a ‘fella’ who watches ‘Love Actually’ regularly and knows when to cry at all the appropriate times; a ‘chap’ who is ashamed of, and apologises for, his hairy testicles and oh so ugly penis; essentially, a woman.

Thankfully, Rebel Voice has found this reminder of when men were men and sheep were terrified. There is one female in this list of ten, however, but Ripley has her head shaved and wears shapeless clothes so that she resembles a male of our species as she tackles the males of another species. Enjoy this clip of when men ruled the Earth (damn but my big sweaty balls are itchy, I’ll have to hang them out the window again to let them breathe. Wonder if old Mrs Reilly is in the garden. Don’t want a repeat of last time).

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