Enemy Of The State by Kyle Mills on behalf of Vince Flynn (2017)

Mitch Rapp is one helluva guy. He’s a private contractor employed by the CIA to save the world. He does this by killing as many terrorists, usually Muslims, as possible. He spits 9mm rounds with venom. He farts hand grenades, coughs mortars, shits missiles and don’t even get us started on what comes out of him when he masturbates. In short, he’s an all-Murican hero for those who drink their beer out of a trough and have sex with their siblings.

Rebel Voice is reluctant to spend too much time reviewing this book. It’s that bad. The time spent reading it could have been better used many, many years from now in attempting a bowel movement. Constipation would be preferable to reading about Mitch Rapp, such is the painful experience it proved to be.

King Faisal of Saudi Arabia has a nephew who is one bad egg, engaged in funding ISIS and associated Islamic terrorists. The US government suspect his involvement but can’t prove it yet. They send for Mitch Rapp to sort this shit out by killing everyone who upsets him. The US president wants plausible deniability so Rapp is on his own and apparently is OK with being set up in this manner. He loves Murcia that much.

What would a hero be without a beautiful and dangerous woman. Enter Claudia, widow of an international arms dealer whose favourite toy is a John Deere (solid Murican company) tractor that she uses to cut the grass on the lawn. Now that’s a real man’s woman and one f**king big lawn. Of course, Mitch ends up humping her senseless and she’s eternally grateful, him being so irresistible and all. She lives with him and her daughter since her hubby’s untimely demise as Mitch is so good and caring when he’s not killing everybody. Beady, beady, Buck, what a guy!

Cue the formation of a special ops team, incursions into wild parts of Africa and the Middle East, and lots of shooting and bombings and dead bad guys. Rebel Voice checked out the original author who, sadly, died in 2013 at the age of 47 from prostrate cancer. Unfortunately, Mitch Rapp didn’t die with him and continues to bore the tits off us to this very day. We can only hope that Mitch Rapp comes to Ireland on special assignment so that militant Republicans can kill the hell out of him whilst one of them steals the heart of Claudia by singing to her and writing some poetry before introducing her to the multiple orgasm. She would end up happily herding sheep in the mountains of Donegal wondering what the f**k she was doing with Rapp in the first place.

For this book think Mission Impossible meets Monty Python with a healthy dose of CIA worship thrown in for good measure.

Mitch Rapp is a joke. The plot is so stretched in this novel as to be viable for firing stones through neighbour’s windows, especially if they’re Muslims. The characters are not so much one-dimensional as entirely transparent and lacking form. Ethereal, you could say. Every cliche possible is used in this book. It’s so obvious as to be insulting. The author, Kyle Mills is from Oregon and his father was apparently an FBI agent, so it’s easy to see why he’s so consumed with US state propaganda, and that’s what this is, full on, no holds barred state propaganda. It’s a pity Mills’s father didn’t arrest him, stick him in Sheridan Federal Penitentiary and ban him from writing for the sake of the world of literature. All well, we can but dream.

If you enjoy being patronised by a state agency fruitcake, then this is the book for you. If you want to swim in US military propaganda to the point where you might drown, then grab this novel. If you want to puke viciously as your body tries to purge itself of the toxic nature of this writing, then do not walk past this offering. If you are fairly normal, human and entirely sane, then reject this jingoistic crap and stare at the wallpaper. It’ll be more entertaining.

Sult scale rating: 2.5 out of 10. The marks given are for the author’s ability to spell and write. Animation requires recognition. There is nothing that Rebel Voice can recommend about this book other than, perhaps, that questions are raised about what really happened during 9/11. Unfortunately, the author should have moved his focus from the official narrative, involving Saudi Arabia, to Israel if searching for essential clues as to who, ultimately, was responsible for bringing down the Towers murdering all those innocent civilians.

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